What Does Happiness Mean To You?

Poets, philosophers, theologians, and not to mention almost every person in the world has thought about happiness. What is it? Can we define it?  It's no secret that different things make different people happy.  No matter one's creed, origin, or social standing, we are all taught that striving to be happy is a hugely important aspect of life.

With that being said, how does one actually obtain happiness? There seems to be no foolproof formula and the code of how to be happy and stay happy hasn't yet been deciphered.

We all know that one person, the one who's always joyous despite whatever curve balls life might throw at them. We also all know that other person who is miserable all the time, despite having all he or she could want in life (at face value).

This may be because happiness is largely, if not completely subjective. We decide what make us personally happy. What makes you happy will not necessarily make someone else happy. What makes the majority of a populous happy will undoubtedly produce an unhappy minority.

I wanted to see what other people thought of this abstract word, and possibly even an abstract feeling. So I asked: "What does happiness mean to you?" This is what I gathered:

To some, it's short, sweet, and to the point

“Being stress free”

-Derek, 26

“Life. If you don’t find something to be happy about everyday, life is pointless. Little things make you happy.”

-Hannah, 22

“Happiness comes from within, feeling happy on the inside. Also money.”

-Edgar, 22

“Being happy, having fun, being crazy”

-Derek, 27

“It’s a state of mind”

Jim, 57

“Happiness to me is being in a constant state of bliss and nostalgia without realizing it while it’s going on”

-Madison, 19

"Sunshine, the sound of waves, butterflies, the feeling you get in the bottom of your stomach right before you jump off a cliff, adrenaline, black coffee, puppies, environmentalists, British accents"
-Sean, 23

To some, it's a little more complex

"Happiness to me means I'm content...spiritually and mentally. Happiness is waking up and thanking God that he's given me another day of life. Happiness is something you hold on to, when you don't feel like you can make it or you're having a tough day."

-Carolyn, 25

“If I had to describe pure happiness it would probably be contentment. Not meaning that everything in your life is perfect but accepting the fact that it’s not. Looking past the imperfections and focusing on the good. Learning from your mistakes, and living each day like it’s your last because in the end you never know when it will be. Happiness is making every second of every day count.”

-Makaila, 21

“I think a lot makes up happiness for me. It’s when you can wake up and go to bed with a smile on your face. When you’re able to handle anything life throws at you positively. Happiness is loving yourself for all your good and bad qualities. Its being surrounded by people who love and adore you for you. Mostly being content with the life you lead. Knowing regrets are OK, they help make you who you are. I can’t explain it with few words, it’s more than just an emotion to me.”

-Melaney, 26

To some, it's food

“It’s a feeling you can’t define it! But if I had to put words into it it’s eating a warm donut right out of the fryer on a Sunday Morning”

-Haleigh, 21

"Seeing the waiter walk out with your plate of food"

-Brandon, 24

"Remembering you still have half a tub of ice cream in your freezer"

-Abby, 20

To some, its self acceptance

“Happiness to me means being able to enjoy the little things in life, to be independent &  just to not really care about what anyone thinks”

-Elizabeth, 16

“Happiness is something you are, and it comes from the way you think & being content with who you are and what you have going for you. If you feel as if you have a dark cloud above your head, you will have one.”

-Courtney, 23

To some, it's all about family

"My kids, my family."

-Bobby, 34

"My children"

-Christine, 42

"Taking care of my family" -Roger, 55

"Being content with what you're doing. At this stage of my life happiness is all about retaining family values, keeping the family together"

-Tony, 63

"Being surrounded by friends and family that love and cherish you"

-Monique, 42

"Being surrounded by people who you love that also love you. Family. Money means nothing if you don't have great people"

-Jarrett, 21

What is happiness to me? I mean, if you want to break it down to a science happiness is studied through psychology and is define as an emotional or mental state of well being which can be experienced by joy, positive emotions, and contentment. In today's world it's so easy to just place your happiness into materialistic objects... money, clothes, shoes, accessories, etc. But to me, happiness is so much more than just a noun. It's not a definite concrete thing. We can't hold it. We can't see it. We can't smell, hear, or taste it. And it's not really something I feel can be explained or described. Its more something to be understood. Surviving. Fighting. Not caring so much what people think of you. Dancing around your room scream singing your favorite song. The people you surround yourself with. Taking a moment to look around and think "there is nothing more I want or need"

Xo~ Mandy

I Don't Have My Shit Together, And That's Okay

I know its early to start talking about the holiday's on September 3rd, but me personally, I like to prepare myself months in advance for what I'm about to say. Holiday's means family. Family means questions. The annual family holiday party with cousins, aunts, uncles and everyone in between who you just know will ask the dreaded question that makes you rethink your entire life in less than a minute: "So, do you know what you're doing?" Funny how one simple question can send your every way of thinking into an uproar, making you question every action you have ever taken and makes you further contemplate any possible actions you will take in regards to life.

Your whole life there were those who presumably had it all figured out; the genius infant sibling who was destined to become a brain surgeon, the kind-hearted cousin who knew she was sure to become a teacher, and the parents who insisted their child was going to Harvard for mathematics because they managed to score a 100% on a 1-minute multiplication quiz in second grade. And then you have me. The only first grader who constantly had to sit on the bench during recess because she couldn't finish her spelling words activity during class.

 If you’re anything like me, you’re probably staring at your computer screen in your sweatpants and eating ice cream after a long, stressful day, to see yet another announcement from an exuberant high school classmate. “After five years of being together, we’re finally engaged!” “Today, I landed the internship of a lifetime! One step closer to my career!” “I just moved in with my boyfriend!” And then again, you have me who's highlight of the week is the fact that I'm only one more purchase away from a free protein shake at TKO. Post after post after post line my wall, all of the people seeming like they have everything all together in their teens and early twenties. Kudos to anyone who has their shit together at such an early time in their life because let me tell you I am not, nor have I ever been someone who has it all figured out. 

Shit Show. Mess. Fiasco. Disaster. I think you get the point- and these are all words to commonly describe myself, my friends and my current situation in life. I'll be the first to admit, I've gone to a Monday morning 8am class visibly still intoxicated from the night before, my clothes sit on my floor before and after my laundry is done, never seeing the inside of my closet, I put nails in my walls using the heels of my shoes because I just don't have a hammer, I've worked an entire shift with my shirt on inside out, I'm using conditioner as body wash at the moment, and sometimes I iron my shirts with my straightener because I care about my appearance but I just simply don't have my life together yet. Many would describe this lifestyle as a shit show and everyone has that one friend that plays this role perfectly, and I think it's pretty understood that I am indeed that friend.

At first, I used to be super offended by this and couldn't understand why people kept calling me a "train wreck." I mean sure, I showed up to my SAT's with no pencil and two different shoes on, but hey at least I made it on time. I was also offended when when I was told to be at a baby shower for 1:00 when it really started at 2:00 but they knew I'd be late. I've tried to change my shit show lifestyle day by day, slowly doing things to change my habits. I picked my clothes up off the floor and moved them to the foot of my bed, and I now have a cute little red hammer so there will be no more using my boots to hang up picture frames. But recently I thought to myself... I'm only 21 years old (newly). I have the ENTIRE rest of my life to have my shit together and right now sure isn't the time. Even though right now is my time to be a complete and utter shit show, I get done what needs to get done.

I've realized that you need to stop comparing your life to everyone else's. Some people may find the love of their life when they are 18, others won't until they are 45. Some will graduate college in 4 years flat, and some may take 10 years and end up with their PhD. Some people will spend college drunk at the bar, while others spend their college years in bed with cookie dough and a chick-flick. You can't compare your life to others because nothing about you're circumstances are the same, you may have the same destination, but the journey will never be the same. Not everybody grows at the same rate and that's okay.

Come to the realization that life will always be messy, no matter how old you are. Learn to accept the hot mess that you are and keep growing and moving forward, because one day the growth will land you right where you have always wanted to be. Nobody is perfect, so don't compare your life to others, we are all in different time frames, working towards different goals. Just be patient, and don't try to rush things that need time to grow.

You never know what kind of crazy situations life is going to put you in. But as long as you inhale every situation with an open, positive mind, and remember to have fun, then sugar honey ice tea you are on the right track! 

The most important thing is to never stop putting in the work that you want to succeed. If you want something bad enough, work hard to get there, and don't ever give up on your dreams.

Xo~ Mandy

A Letter Addressed To Heaven

Most of us knew you as Mimi. One person knew you as mom, others Claudia, and even the Claud-Master. But one thing everyone has in common is we all knew you as a blessing.

 Things are different without you here, as you can imagine. No longer do I get several calls a day telling me about your day, or asking how my day was. No more voicemail's always saying "Hi Amanda, it's Mimi." as if caller ID wasn't a thing. But looking back now, I would give anything to see your name pop up on my phone just one more time.

Mimi, you were so unbelievably compassionate. Your heart and generosity had no limits. You door was always open to anybody….as long as they wiped their feet first because you had a white carpet. I always knew I had a place to stay whether it be for a few minutes just to visit, a few hours where we would watch Dance Moms marathons together and you would praise my dance teachers for never making me cry like Abby Lee did to her students, and even for a few months when I needed a place to go. Your door was always open, and your love was always there. Growing up I spent a lot of time with you. Your home was my home away from home. I remember every Friday night you would take Brett and me to McDonalds. We would eat, and then spend hours in the play area. And to be honest, I truly believe you enjoyed it more than Brett and I did because that was just the type of person you were. You loved bringing joy to others.

You were a giver, no doubt about that. Every single charity weather it was for starving children, or abused animals, you always donated. You gave money to your church every time you attended mass, and anytime someone needed something, you always were the first to give. And when you weren't able to give at the moment, you still made an effort to make it known that you eventually will be able to give. I’ll never forget my 18th birthday. I knew you were up to something because you started to laugh before I even fully opened my birthday card. Little did I ever know I was opening up a card with an IOU inside. You laughed about that for hours, and to be honest so did I. You ended up telling me later you had money in the bank, you just forgot to go earlier and by the time you remembered you were already late enough as it was. And anyone who knew you well enough knew you were late for everything.

I always pictured you as someone who was going to be around forever. I mean who can say they were pronounced dead for 20 minutes and then came back to life? Who can say they’ve had their last rights read to them not once, but twice? Who can say they proved every single doctor wrong when they said “I don’t think she will make it through the night” “She will never be able to live on her own again” “She will never drive again” You did that.

After that happened you would often ask “Why am I still here?” “Why did God let me live?” And after I thought about it for a minute I remember you always saying to mom “You know, I’m getting older, I live alone, my husband has been dead for years now, and you really never know what's going to happen. But all I want in this world is to live long enough to watch Amanda and Brett grow up.” And when I look back on everything that has happened since then I realize your time on earth was not up yet simply because Brett and I were not grown yet. After you were out of the hospital and back home, that June you watched Brett graduate high school, and you watched me perform in my last dance recital. That September you watched Brett enter his first semester of college. And that October you watched me purchase my 3rd car, but also my first car I purchased on my own without my mom's help. You got your wish. A wish that you truly deserved. And I really believe you were kept on this earth for an extra year and a half to make sure you got that wish.





Even though you learned at a very young age what independence felt like after losing your husband to melanoma, you wouldn't have made it through without the amazing support of all your friends and family. Mom had me and Brett to give you life back from what you had lost. Mrs. Dube, was so good to you for visiting you in the hospital, and taking you to and from appointments when no one else was able to. Mrs. Tatzle, always included you in all her family events, parties, and gave you a chance to get out of the house. And Maryann, was the the best friends you could have ever asked for. She gave life to your Friday nights, gave you the joy of breakfast with Santa. Every year she had us over for Christmas Eve, and shes always been a second grandmother to Brett and me. I cherish them just as much as you did. And God, sure blessed me with one of the most precious grandmother's I could have ever asked for.

They say that the ones who pass are finally at peace, and it's those who are left behind that are the ones to suffer. And boy are they right. Grieving is a selfish stage that everyone has to go through but in time will get better. As hard as it is for me to say goodbye to someone who was such a big part of my life, I know you are with Grampy who you've missed terribly for 21 years, and if you can't be here with us I wouldn't want you to be anywhere else but with him.

Mimi, this isn't a “goodbye”, this is a “see you later”, because I know one day we'll meet again. But until that day does come, I know you’ll be watching over me, and everyone else. I love you, and everyone loves you. Thank You for showing me what unconditional love felt like.

Xo~ Mandy

Why Culinary Arts IS Important

Many high schools and colleges, including my own, look down on the culinary art program that is offered. Schools are cutting culinary arts programs left and right. When most people hear that I spent my junior and senior year of high school taking culinary arts classes like "Food and Nutrition" and "Baking and Pastry", all any adult would say to me is, "Really?" "A foods class?" What's the point of sitting around for an hour listening to someone tell you to eat healthy?" "You're not going to college to be a chef." "Pointless." And if you think about it, damn right that is pointless. When people hear the words "culinary arts" they automatically assume it's just a basic cooking class. But that's not what culinary arts is all about, especially the way it was taught at my high school. In fact, my first day of junior year when I walked into my "Food and Nutrition" class, written on the white board in big, bold letters was "THIS IS NOT A COOKING CLASS" Not only is culinary arts beneficial for our individual mental and emotional well being, but it directly impacts the economy, the health and well being of others, and society as a whole. 

We can agree, high school isn't a teenagers ideal place to spend most of their day for several reasons. Some students are overwhelmed with the amount of work, others are discouraged with themselves because no matter how hard they try they cant seem to pass that one class they need to graduate, and then you have the ones who doze off in class because they cant sleep at night. Students have it hard sometimes trying to maintain a solid GPA, tying to have a balanced diet, a healthy social life, and good nights sleep. 

"I looked forward to my senior year so I could sign up for culinary classes. That's all my friends and other students talked about"

"Classes provided me with such knowledge and a love for cooking. It opened me up to foods I never thought I would try. I also loved how it taught students "how to adult" and do a budget, learn healthy eating habits, and so many more beneficial topics."

"Its not just "cooking" students will be doing without. It's learning healthy eating habits along with basic skills on how to manage life and live responsibly before going out into the "real" world."

Those are just a few of the many shocked, and saddened reactions from the students, staff, and alumni at Somerset-Berkley Regional High School after finding out due to "budget cuts" they will be eliminating the culinary arts program. Supposedly, along with having to make budget cuts, another factor in eliminating the course is due to "low enrollment". Don't get me wrong, its wise to cut a course with a low enrollment value for the following year, but its also difficult to have a high enrollment value for a course that was never offered as an option for students to take. But that's none of my business.

We should be trying to make high school a place every student enjoys going to. And I hate to break it to you, but taking away a class that gives students such joy, comfort, and knowledge they will need when they enter the real world isn't going to make their high school experience enjoyable. No where in my 4 years of high school was I ever taught how to save money, how to create a grocery list, or how to manage stress by taking simple math or english classes. But are you curious as to where I did learn how to save money, how to create a grocery list, and how to manage my stress. From none other than my culinary arts class. The point of this post is not a protest to get culinary arts back into the budget, but to make people aware of what they are taking away from their students based off what they "assume" about the class. Too many programs are being cut for us to continue to ignore this.

Xo~ Mandy

To My BestFriends On Valentines Day

Warning: This letter is about to get extremely cheesy. I am talking three cheese mac and cheese cheesy. But no one deserves a love letter more than you, because you are my ultimate valentine.

 You encounter thousands, maybe even millions of different people throughout your life. Some come in your life for a few minutes or just a few years, and very few are there through it all. All my love this Valentine’s Day goes out to my bestfriends. My amigas, my rocks, my backbone. If I were to write out every single reason as to why you mean the world to me this would go on forever. So I'll keep it simple: thank you, I love you.

People come and go in and out of my life, but you, you have always been a constant. You are an inspiration for what friendship means and a role model for how people should treat the ones they love. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me even when I did not love myself. Thank you for making me laugh when all I could seem to do was cry. Thank you for accepting me even with all my faults. Thankyou for making my dream come true of finding people to laugh at my jokes. And thankyou for getting me through highschool in one piece. Each one of you completes me in a different way. I can't even begin to explain how much love I got for the squad.





 Although sometimes we may go periods of time without seeing each other, I want you to never forget that I am always there for you just like you are for me. If you need someone to talk to at 2am, holla atcha girl.

More than anything, I want you to know I love you. You are the family I get to choose. You played a giant part of molding me into who I am today. And without each one of you, I wouldn't be me. So again, I thankyou with all the love in my heart on this Valentines Day for being the best Valentines a girl could ask for.

With muchas love,

Your over-sensitive, hyper-organized, emotional, and high maintenance best friend.

Xo~ Mandy

A Little Letter To My Little Sis

Disclaimer; we are not actually sisters but everyone always has that one person that is years older or younger than them, that isn't actually their sister, but is their sister if you're catching my drift.

Tayla, 
        I feel like I never actually tell you face to face how important you are to me. Probably because even thought we aren't sisters by blood, you still annoy me as if we were. So this is my way of doing it.

You are by far the sassiest person I've ever met. Sometimes I truly believe you are the human version of a headache. You're loud, and you're crazy and did I mention annoying. Oh, and you hog pillows and blankets AND push me off the air mattress when you're sleeping. But at the end of the day I wouldn't wanna have you any other way. (And you can thank me for the rhyme because I didn't even realize it until I typed it so your're welcome.) 

   Despite everything else, I am so unbelievably proud of the young woman you have become. You have been doing so well in school, even better than I did! High school is definitely tough, but you will survive. Life gets so much better after high school, you have to believe that. Never believe that things won't get better because they always will. I can't even compare your dancing from what it was when I met you to what it is now. I remember being so proud of you when you finally did back hand spring, then your side Ariel, and even your first solo. And I don't even want to talk about the fact that you're taking drivers ed. I might not tell you as much as I should, but I promise that I really am proud of you. I didn't think I could be any more proud, but here I am seeing you now, prouder than ever. You have such a great head on your shoulders.

I want you to enjoy all of the best parts of your age. Like, driving around with your friends in your first car, getting accepted to your dream schools, screaming at the top of your lungs in the stands at the last home football game when you are a Senior. You have so many things to look forward to. 



A few things I want you to remember. Take everything in and take nothing for granted. Nothing lasts forever so inhale everything you possibly can and keep it with you for as long as you can. Appreciate the people around you. Don't sweat the small stuff. And most importantly, know how much I'm rooting for you.

You have so many things ahead of you Tay, the world is waiting for you.


Xo~ Mandy

From The Girl Who Is Always Happy, To The Girl Who Is Scared To Be Happy

"Amanda, you're always smiling"

"Amanda, I wish I was always as happy as you"

"Amanda your happy, optimistic personality shines"

"How can you not be happy while being around Amanda?"

"Amanda, you're always so blissful"

"Is that why your social media name is blissfulmandy???"

Comments like that are something I normally hear on a daily basis. And to be honest, I never thought about it as me being "happy", I thought about it as me being "me."

How is it that females strong as bulls and courageous as a lion are terrified of things human beings craves the most? Why is it that the human brain can imagine such beautiful and wonderful things, but on the other hand be scared of the most beautiful and wonderful feeling? How is it possible that the most loving, compassionate genuine and gentle women are the same ones who are mortified of getting the same love they put out in return? When did the most joyful, enthusiastic creatures in the universe decide they were scared of "happy"?

Happy, to some people, is a word that makes them smile on the outside, but silently cringe on the inside. The word makes them cringe so much from within, you swear you can almost see their eyes shake in their skulls. To some, being afraid of happy sounds silly.

It's the painful reality. I mean, being happy means a situation is going good or getting better. Meaning that even thought it is going very good, it can also go very wrong. It can cause pain. Heartbreak. Disappointment. Failure.

Sure it's a bit morbid to think about it that way. But some people have faced so much pain, heartbreak, and agony it's the only logical way to think about the whole situation; a brilliant, yet cruel defense mechanism

As brilliant as the defense mechanism sounds, it doesn't have to be that way. We are supposed to guard ourselves, but not to the degree where we get in the way of our own happiness

You have to stop getting in the way of your own happiness. It's definitely easier said (and even easier typed) than done. It's definitely preaching to the choir. It's definitely also a matter of "practice what you preach". But from one girl who used to be afraid of being happy to another, it's a step we have to take, because everyone deserves to be happy.

"Amanda, how are you so happy all the time?"

I know everyone expects me to whip out this 4 page essay written in MLA format, dated, with my sources cited explaining just how I'm so dang happy all the time. But the real, and only truthful answer I can say is "I'm not." Not even close.

I noticed that if I constantly reminded myself of how sucky certain situations were on a daily basis, or even if I thought about it a lot, it was like having a 200lb brick attached to the bottom of my feet dragging me down 24/7. Instead, I decided that I just want to live each day one minute at a time and simply try to enjoy every moment. Everyone knows that in life you sometimes have to do things you didn't think you'd ever have to do. For example, I once had to scrub the ceiling of the Burger King freezer for 2 hours. If I had spent every minute of those two hours complaining about how much I hated the experience and the fact that I had to be there, I would have made myself miserable. Instead, I turned on some music and danced like no one was watching (to keep up my body heat so I wouldn't freeze of course, and because you can't not dance while listening to jams) Was I happy about having to clean the ceiling of the freezers? No. Not even a little bit. But I decided to make the most of my experience 

So my advice to someone who "wants to be as happy as Blissfulmanders," is to just live. Take lots of pictures to remember moments, and spend a lot of time smiling at things that other people might not smile about. Do amazing things, and spend time learning about things that really interest you. And always remember that just like you, everyone has something that is weighing them down. View each person in the world as someone important, and the happiness will come more naturally to you than you ever thought possible.

Xo~ Mandy